shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
