Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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