we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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