Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
