Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
