i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize