i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
These tits shall not be calmed
My breath smells like gin and sadness
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
