You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
