Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
