And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize