my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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