thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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