Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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