either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
