During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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