Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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