I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
