just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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