actually, I'm a sock model
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
