so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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