Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
