If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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