To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
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