he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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