I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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