i think my tv is drunk
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Randomize
