She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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