he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
