I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
You ruined the universe
Randomize
