is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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