IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
