I need help removing her.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize