So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
