Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
How naked do you want me to be?
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