I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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