it hurts more in the daytime
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
