Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
