I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize