Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
