I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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