Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
