his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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