Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
He called his prostate his "boner button".
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
