i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
