No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
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