Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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