so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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