If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
