But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
