South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
