I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
