I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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