IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Randomize
