I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize
