Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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