she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
