so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
