I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
